Mom, I Hope This Smells Better Than the Shit I Put You Through Candle

Amber glass soy candle poured with a clean, long-burning natural wax blend. This jar carries a bit of humor on its label—wry and honest—while filling a room with one of eight carefully crafted scents: from cozy orange-spice fir for winter evenings to bright peppered passionfruit for sunny afternoons, soothing white sage + lavender for quiet moments, warm cinnamon vanilla for baking nostalgia, coconut cream + cardamom for exotic comfort, or a fragrance-free option for simple glow. The cotton wick burns evenly and the glass vessel is reusable after the last flicker—wash it, repurpose it as a small planter, pencil cup, or shelf accent. Hand-assembled in the USA using globally sourced components and made with non-toxic, vegan ingredients, this candle blends personality with clean-burning performance and safety compliance.

Product features
- 100% natural soy wax blend with a 100% cotton wick
- Vegan, non-toxic formula—no parabens, phthalates, synthetic dyes, lead, or plastics
- Reusable amber glass jar that cleans easily after use
- Eight scent options including unscented and seasonal blends infused with essential oils
- Assembled in the USA and compliant with ASTM safety standards

Care instructions
- Burn within sight. Keep away from flammables. Keep away from children and pets.